Detour towards the courtyard

I nodded as well trying to stir up a conversation that came to mind. But so far nothing did, just the thought of Utena, and how deeply in love with her I was. But she was in love with Anthy. I tried not to show it, and didn't mean to, but a slight melancholy look came over my face as I had hoped that none of them, Utena or Anthy, would notice.

"At least you got a basket" I said jokingly trying to stir her up. I noticed her change again, another mood swing. I was hopeing to get her out of it whatever it was that was bugging her at the moment.

I nodded.

"Um yeah. At least I did that." I smiled faintly, trying to hide my emotion of sorrow.

I wondered what was wrong and didn't know wether to ask her now or later so I just asked her now "Is something wrong Wakaba?"
like I know dealing with the switch wouldn't be that easy but stll.

"Well... uh.. no.. why do you think that Utena?" I said trying to look as happy and sound as happy as possible. Anthy knew what was the matter, she wasn't the one to judge for emotion on this one, but I knew she knew what I was feeling. She could pick up on emotion like that. But it just wouldn't come out of my mouth.

"Nothing, just thinking about the man I guess."

"Alright then" I said in a tone that denoted skepticism. It wasn't a expected response, though it was possible I suppose.
I just left it there though if she didn't want to go on then i wouldn't force her to.

We were walking off to class, and it was dead silent for a moment. We just kept looking for class as we appeared in the hallways of Ohtori, walking throughout this big school looking for a class. I remained silent keeping what was on my mind in it. Not to reveal it ever, not once.

I had remained quiet all this time except for the one time I spoke. I looked at Wakaba's face trying to decipher the emotion she was feeling at the moment. I drew it as melancholy, and I knew that was an emotion of sorrow. I am not one to feel, but she was what I consider a friend, and for a friend I was learning from Utena, you should show them kindness, and do anything to make them happy and cheer them up. Or from what I could tell she wanted to speak her mind and say something from within herself, but could not bring herself to do it. I didn't know what that thing was, but I knew it was there. So I quietly kept to myself before speaking in a moment of silence. I thought to say something and so say I shall, I didn't know what was a good or bad time, so I just spoke the mind.

"Uh, Miss Utena, excuse me, but I think Wakaba's feeling a little upset. Melancholy today, and I don't know why. I'm sure you must have some sort of cure for it." I smiled innocently, and apathetically all the same. "Wakaba is one of your best friends right? So maybe I should leave you two to be alone for a while?"

I looked from Anthy back at Wakabe. Well i know somethings wrong. Maybe if we are alone she's more likely to say somethhing.
You sure you wouldn't mind leaving us to talk Anthy?

I wasn't sure if it would be right to make Anthy leave to let us speak.
"Are you sure nothings wrong wakaba?" I asked once more. I was starting to think I'd need to tackle hug her or something to make her stop being upset.

I nodded slowly as I wanted to show that time that something was wrong. I mean I couldn't very well hide it anymore, that Anthy had sensed and re-iterated exactly what I was feeling. No doubt if she got that within time she would get everything that I was feeling in that litle mind of her's, which I always wondered how it worked. Hm, I will one day try and figure it out, but for now, Utena was the only thing on my mind, and I wondered if I could do this as I was. I gulped and I stood there, fiddling with my fingers and before long, I decided to say something. She's my best friend, why can't I speak my mind?

Sure, I will leave you two to be... I hope things are okay.

I smiled as coy as possible and then went to the corner by the window to look down out of it. We were now on the second floor of the building, and we had found a standstill in the hallway. I went far enough away so that I wouldn't be listening in on them, or their conversation. It's rude to hear what people say and then you have knowledge they don't know you have. At least I found that rude. As I walked over to the window, I thought to myself without having my thoughts transfered for once.

The flowers are pretty today, and I wonder what I will do later. Hm, maybe water the roses..

I Leaned against the wall near a open window as I look at Wakaba. "so what is it thats bothering you then" I asked looking at her with concern.

"Well lots of things. I mean this is kind of hard to say to you, and I can't exactly put it into words. Maybe you can help me." I looked to her blushing a little, shyly.

"Alright well, when you told me you got stabbed, I might not have shown it on the outside, but I was petrified inside, scared as hell. I mean what if the man comes back and does it again? There's always a chance you'll die Utena, and I don't want that to happen. Because Anthy and I need you, we can't live without you. And it's true that at sometimes I wish Anthy would disappear, but that can't happen, so I learn to live with it. I guess what I am trying to say is.." I had started to gather tears in my eyes and my voice became distorted with sadness.

"I guess what I am trying to say is.. is.." I couldn't complete the setence. I wasn't good at this sort of thing, and it's times like these I wished I was better with speaking and emotion.

"Of course I'd try to help" I looked at her closely she was blushing, I wondered what it could be about.

She was becomeing rather emotional, I was listening intently to what she had t say. It was kinda clicking in near the end. I came closer to her and wraped my arms around her to give her some support. "what is it you are trying to say wakaba? I know you worry about me, I'll always be fine I have you and Anthy to live for and I will always come back for you both. Afterall someone has to be around to beat you in a game of basketball" I was trying to lighten the mood abit. It wasn't as if i wasn't getting it. It just took abit of time to click.
She.. loves me?.. Its not like the blatant mauling by hugs wasn't a obvious indicator but you could just account that to her very passionate and over doing it way of showing all her emotions.

Thank god for the leeway she had given me. Maybe she got it, maybe she didn't... I had hoped she didn't that was it was still my secret. I had become emotional and as I felt her arms around me, I blushed more, a crimson color. And the words she spoke were just so beautiful and inspiring, I wanted to kiss her right then and there. But first I would be kissing Anthy to the unknown eye, and second, she had a girlfriend. It was strange and awkward, but I thought to suck it up and go with the joke she was trying to make. I mean, maybe she didn't know, yeah, that's right, and she will never! Haha!

"Right then Utena, as y-you say. I will beat you someday, and don't come crying to me when you get beaten by me~! Ha~!" I spoke loudly, somewhat becoming jokingly confident, but then I thought about that statement for a while.

"Wait, that didn't make sense. Uh, don't come crying to me when.. oh, no that's not it either! Gr.." I thought about it hard in that moment, still keeping the blush on my face. Her arms, loved that feeling, and always will. It's too bad we weren't meant to be...

I laughed abit at her attempt at a comeback?, either way it was pretty funny. I kept my arms around her though.
"Right, haha, i get what your trying to say wakaba, but to do that you have to beat me first" I smiled playfully.

It was astonishing that no one had come out to see about the loud noise with the way wakaba had proclaimed her will to beat me.

I was blushing and then just decided to shut up. I was causing a scene and making a rucus and no sooner or later the teacher would come and tell us to break it up or something, or to shut up or lower the volume at least. I zipped my mouth shut, with my hand and decided I wasn't going to make noise, but I still remained blushing crimson as ever. I had forgotten that her hands were there, and I didn't know why I was blushing until I took a glance down and saw them there, reminding myself that they were. My whole cheeks across my nose bridge to the other cheek, was red. I was blushing hard, and I didn't know why Utena's hands, her touch made me so crazy. I looked down.

I noticed the sudden change.
And bent down to look at up at her, so i was in a squating position.
"You wheren't that loud wakaba" I tried to reassure her as I wondered why she was blushing crimson.
"Now nothing else is bothering you right?" I asked just to make sure as I wanted to know that it was settled before we went to our classroom. Or before a teacher came whichever would come first
You'd think there was a hall monitor or something around this school lol.

"It's not that Utena. I'm gonna shut up because I have nothing m-more to say. A-and nothing else is b-bothering me." I contiuned to look down, because I was nervous or shy, lovestruck. Her arms around me, making me crazy, and I had to control myself. I had to control myself. My blush remained.

"You aren't acting like nothings bothering you" the stutter and the blush where obvious signs something was going on. Maybe it was just her imagination or maybe she was just embarrassed by her arms being where they where.
That was possible.
I sighed.
"Well you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. Just hope whatever it is works out."
I wasn't going to just blurt out my thoughts it was better not to at least when your talking about feelilngs like love. It was a possibility that was what was making her act this way.
I stayed there looking up at her.

I continued to blush and looked up, just as I would have hoped you would follow.

"I am not embarrassed easily Utena and you know that. So what could be the only other thing that makes a person blush besides embarrassment. I mean, look where your arms are, don't you think anyone would blush if they were touched by a prince like that." I said as then I was looking down, just my head a little, slightly. It was obvious that this wasn't easy for me to deal with. So I spoke now becoming more brave, and from my heart.

"Thank you but it won't, ever Utena, but thank you anyway. I mean, it's better if they have no clue than if they are sorry. So it's my secret once again." I said nodding, and looking up again, still blushing. But this time there was a slight trace of small tears in my eyes.

It had clicked, as I looked down at where my hands where and blushed, the timing fit for when she used the word prince, as that always seemed to make me blush.

"err, yea, I suppose your right." I stood up and gave her a warm hug as I saw the tears in her eyes I said nothing more after that. I was at a loss for words to comfort or support her all I could do was embrace her and give her a shoulder.

I smiled slightly as I had made you blush, before going back to my seriousness. I was embraced in the hug and given the shoulder, I loved the way that someone can help me through this. Especially the person I loved, and had fallen for ever since we were younger. I nodded.

"Well of course I am, I am your best friend aren't I? And you will always be my prince." I said whispering that softly in her ear, drying the tears from my eyes, and then getting happy and walking away. Though it seemed as though nothing was wrong, and I appeared to be happy, things aren't always what they seem. Don't judge a book by it's cover, but by it's context. I was terribly paining inside, and I didn't know where to turn. So I decided I needed to go to Nemuro Memorial Hall. I heard in an exclusive room set aside from the museum they council you, and help you through rough times. I decided to go there, who knows? Maybe I'll feel better.

The blush increased as the word was uttered again, damnit why does that word always get to me.
I simply nodded and let her go. Afterall there was not much else I could really do in this moment. She seemed perfectly fine now. Was this just a mere illusion.
She was happy again or so it seemed and that was good to see.
I smiled at her.
No words really needing to be said.

I had walked off, giving the illusion I was fine. But I was off elsewhere to seek counciling. I needed it.