Utena's Thinking Time

This is where I ran off to, and usually where I go when I need to sort things out. I thought I was alone... but to my surprise the one person who was maybe the quietest one of my enemies came my way. It was Miki, at first he didn't seem like he wanted to talk, so I kept my mouth shut, but again to my amazement, he came up the hill of where I was and started speaking to me.

"Hello Miss Utena, what's wrong?" He asked me kindly as he stopped my stopwatch. I always wondered what he was doing with that thing... he never replied, he was always interested with something or someone else around.

I mumbled. "It's nothing Miki, no worries... I just need to think things through a little bit." I said kind of with a sad tone in my voice, now he knew that something was wrong, I thought Miki to be the last one to have cared about me and much less my problems, wow he was really nice.

"Nope, I know something's wrong... and I'm here to help you, so why don't you tell me what's wrong instead of hiding it away. You know you'll never get anywhere if you hide your emotions like you are now, Miss Utena... so please tell me what is bothering you?" He asked calmly concerned.

I ran all the way here and looked for Utena, eventually I saw something pink in the distance and ran up to it waving. "UTENA!!!" I called cheerily asI slowed down a bit so Anthy could catch up and ran up to her panting slightly.

"Utena, what are you doing here? Anthy had gotten hurt and well we didn't know where you were... and you had us both worried." I pouted.

"Oh, worried about me were you?" I raised an eyebrow which made her blush.

I blushed and hugged her ever so slightly, and then my impulsiveness took over. I gently kissed her. "Don't ever do that again." I smiled.

I was confused, majorly.

Anthy watched abit confused herself as of what happened. A slight flick of jealousy shot through her when she watched Wakaba kiss Utena and stiffened slightly. Though she shook that off as best she could she just stood there in silence really. Panting abit from the running.

"Hm, Wakaba what was that for?" I was confused.

"Hm, nothing really. Just wanted to taste those sweet lips of yours before leaving you to your princess." I giggled and smiling, walked away.

I had to admit Wakaba was crazy, but kind in her own way. And so I looked to Anthy still somewhat confused and blushing a little, worried.

Anthy wondered what the hell that was about. And more importantly if Wakaba was a sane person. She blushed as she heard her mention leaving her to her princess. But still. It bugged her a little. She tried not to really show it and just looked at Utena in silence.

I blushed too and tried not to look at the beautiful girl in front of me, but rather concentrate on what I was thinking about. So, I stayed in silence.

Miki nodded and asked me as he looked at Anthy. "Well, you two do look like you have a lot to talk about. I'll go after Wakaba for now, I'll see you later Miss Utena." He smiled and walked away chasing after wherever Wakaba went.

I remained there in my little position sitting against the tree. I thought and thought.. but nothing ever came to my mind, but love.

Anthy nodded as Miki left them alone.

She took a deep breath and walked up to Utena. Standing closely next to her. "what are you thinking about?" is all she could really say. It was the only question she could ask. Even with everything that was going on in her mind. The one thing that mattered is what was going on with Utena right now. She wanted to make sure she was fine before starting on those other thoughts.

"Do you want the truth.. or what I'm supposed to say?" I mumbled from sitting there in that position loud enough so that she could hear me.

"The truth" she said as she went to sit next to Utena and brought a hand up to gently run the back of her hand over her hair. She was trying to show care and concern.

I blushed a little at this and then looked up for a slight moment into her eyes, before sighing a little. The blush could be noticed now. I was still looking and then averted my eyes back down into my lap, though my face was now visible.

"You..." I said softly. It was the truth, after all.

Anthy blushed alittle at the answer. "What about me" she asked curiously, she was wondering why Utena had looked back down at her lap and thought there was more to the answer. So she continued lightly brushing her hand over Utenas hair and slide her arm around behind her neck.

I was blushing so hard at this moment in time just thinking. I couldn't have told her my real thoughts, there were none just Anthy. And so, I decided just to say that... what I felt.

"Nothing, just you.." I sighed again and kept looking downwards too shy and unable to look Anthy directly in the eyes. I mean, I was in love to be expected. And besides, if I were to look into those beautiful green eyes once more... I swear I would feel boned... and I'm a female. o.o

Anthys blush had grown abit more as she thought for a moment. She just leaned closer to Utena almost leaning against her as she gently kissed the top of her head. Continuing her gentle movements of earlier. She didn't know why she did it really. It just felt natural.
"Why are you looking down?"

"I-It's a natural reaction, Anthy. When you like someone you tend to get nervous around them and right now.. you're making me as nervous as a teenage boy about to ask his girl to prom... " I had to think quick with that analogy. I couldn't explain why I was looking down either, but that was the most logical and so I went with that.

"Oh?" she had to think over that analogy it wasn't something she was familiar with, and though the point of nervousness making someone look down, she could understand. Since she had also done so when she got nervous around Utena.
"Ok then.." she wondered if she let if it would make her feel better.

(Wait I have short hair and we're standing up right?)

I kept blushing and was unable to move as I started to crack a small smile and then snickered a little but joyfully.

"You still enjoy my hair..?" I smiled and now was able to look up smiling into those big beautiful green emerald eyes.. ones I was in love with.

(I thought we where sitting O.o and I didn't know about the length but short hair can still be played with)

Anthy smiled and blushed more. "Yes, I do" she replied as she looked back into Utena magnificent blue eyes, a sea of love and joy was all she saw in them as she wanted to never have them cast upon her in a different way.

(Make us standing and I'm leaning against the tree, it's easier to understand. I have movie hair.. but it's eventually going to grow.)

I blushed, as my hands were behind my back.. but one of them at my side.. and was trying to slowly slither it's way like a snake around Anthy's waist, but it pulled back as she slightly noticed this. I kept blushing and looking down as this was one of the scenes of my dreams. I mean it was romantic and what I wanted, but something felt different, something wasn't the same. I thought on this as well, but I didn't for long since it was too hard to concentrate. The only thing my mind wanted to focus on and seemed fixated on was Anthy, the beautiful princess right in front of me.

(ok so we are standing)

Anthy noticed the subtle movement of the hand comeing towards her waist then going back to Utena, she was still blusing and wondered why it was she was doing so.
She stopped playing with Utenas hair and looked down slightly to hide her blush now even though she was certain it would have been seen. Her arm still rested behind Utenas neck.

I couldn't speak, I was tongue tied. I was hoping that Anthy would speak and say something, anything in that moment so that I could. I was too nervous , too shy, too everything. I mean, I shied out of holding her. And on top of that... I continued to look downward, in thoughts of her.

"... Anthy, what is it you think about most of the time?" I asked her innocently. Finally able to speak.

"I don't know" was how she answered. She thought of her love, she thougt of the whole rose bride situation , she thought of many things. Though to say what she thinks about most is hard to tell.
She really didn't know how to answer.

"Please, later I'd like to have a discussion on this whole rose bride and dueling situation, please I'm asking as a best friend and loyal lover, if you choose so, to you.. to please help me out with that. But, later though... right now.. I'd like to think and talk, no.. establish our relationship right now.. What are we?" I asked simple clean and straight out to her.

"we are..."she thought for a moment. She wanted to say lovers, but it was hard to, and then there was what she had said before. A discussion on the situation. It would be hard to be able to have one let alone give any answers... "we are.." why was it so hard to say... "we are girlfriends" was all she could say, she hoped that Utena would get it.

I blushed.

"So you're meaning to tell me... y-you're my girlfriend?" I asked. And then got slightly confused.

"But do you belong to me or Saionji still? I mean aren't you being won around in a duel? Which I think is totally unfair to you.. but I'm still confused. But, happy at the same time." I scratched my head and thought.

"W-well you said I was...." she said abit hurt by the statement. It was true she was owned by someone at the moment. But the feelings she had where different to that of what others would want. If it was simple yes she would be Utenas. Right now she is not her property but her love, and she did love Utena dearly. She blushed deeply thinking about that and hearing her say it again.
"yes I mean y-you're my g-girlfriend" It seemed such a odd thing to say and at the same time it felt so right and releved her of so much.

".I don't belong to Saionji... but the duels still go on, and I am still won and owned by another" she sighed slightly not wanting to explain further. If she was to even hint at telling his name she would be shocked into unconciousness.